The motivation to change is often strongest when we’re at a low point. Perhaps it’s after many years of feeling that way. We may be feeling beaten, at our weakest and not knowing what to do.
The first step is often to admit that things aren’t right and this can take a lot of courage. Especially if we have invested a lot of time, effort, energy and everything else, to get to where we are right now.
Once we’ve admitted to ourselves that something needs to shift, and accepted this, the next step is to look how to make changes.
Changing anything takes great effort.
Change can be difficult. Perhaps we’ve been stuck in certain behaviour patterns or relationships which have become routine over many years.
We get used to things a certain way. Things get easy and they work for us, so we repeat them again and again and they become automatic. Even when things start to get painful.
It can be very difficult to alter direction because they used to work so well and we can’t see any other way of doing it.
So, we can keep repeating them even when they’re no longer doing what they used to do.
In my work with addiction, obsessive compulsive disorders or even relationship difficulties, I know how difficult it can be to change long standing behaviours and patterns. Often there’s a big fear around letting go of things that used to work so well and offered so much comfort.
It takes great courage to do something differently and face the fears associated with this.
Some of these might be:
What happens if I do something differently?
What happens if I’m rejected?
What happens if I don’t have my safety net?
It’s easier to be brave and courageous if we know why we´re doing something.
Perhaps try asking yourself some of these questions:
What’s the reason I want to change?
How might my life improve if I face my difficulties?
What could making these changes add to my life?
By identifying these and keeping them front and centre, they can act as motivators as you take courageous steps into the unknown. Reminding yourself of them, can then help inspire you when the times get tough and the desire to change slips away.
It is courageous to even contemplate taking steps to approach challenges in your life.
By developing resilience, flexibility, compassion and a connection to purpose, change becomes easier and hopefully something to embrace, enjoy and even welcome.
Helping clients get in touch with this and develop these skills is what we do in therapy together, if that speaks to you, feel free to contact me.