This week, I read this interesting article about the crisis in masculinity and some of the issues that men are facing in modern society.
It got me thinking about my client work with men and how we work together to help them find more meaning in their lives.
When I start working with a man, it is because they recognise that something is not right, or they are not happy with things the way they are.
They often report wanting to be a better man, father, partner, friend, lover, son, etc and all that that entails.
But what does this mean?
It will mean different things to each individual and in therapy, our job is to work out what it means to be “better” to them together.
What is it in their lives that is not working?
What is it that they want to be?
And what are they doing, that helps perpetuate or worsen their situation.
What can help make us successful (and survive!) is acting on instinct. However, this is an unconscious process and when we’re swept up by all the opportunities and stresses that life throws at us, we can get pushed off track easily just feeling like we’re trying to survive.
In sessions, when we examine what’s going on together, we may discover that what they are doing in a number of areas that is out of tune with their values and who they want to be.
We then work to get them back in touch with what’s important to them. By keeping these factors in mind, they will be more able to take steps towards the person that they want to be.
Building up this consciousness even for small moments, can allow space to change direction and live more authentically.
This is easier said than done, but with careful reflection and presence, it can lead us to be more considered in who we are, the actions we take and why we take them.
I aim to help men to become more aware, present and conscious. Allowing them to take steps to lead the life they want to lead.
Rather than feeling trapped, stuck and stale, they can feel more fulfilled and energised.
This can take time and it’s not easy to change entrenched thinking and behaviour patterns but it is possible.
If you’re interested in learning more about how I work and perhaps starting to make changes in your life, feel free to get in touch.